Tuesday, December 18, 2018

Bionic!

Here's the news. On 12/11/2018, last Tuesday, of my own free will, I drove to the hospital, got totally undressed, signed some papers, and let them pump me full of a cocktail of muscle relaxants, pain killers, and sedatives.

Then, with a sharp knife they sliced open my thigh.

With a reciprocating saw, they cut thru my thigh bone.

With a hammer and chisel, they removed the ball from the hip ball and socket.

They took a powerful power-sander and polished up the inside of the socket cutting off a set of bone spurs and trying to make spherical.

Then they jammed  into me the strangest looking device made of  titanium, plastic, and ceramic.


 Basically, they jammed (hammered) a cup my  hip socket and then jammed a ceramic ball with an the attached metal rod into the thigh bone at one end, the newly placed cup in the other.

Once in place, they cleaned up the mess that they'd made being sure not to leave any bone chips or other evidence around, pushed all the muscles and stuff back into position, and glued the incision back together.

Then they high fived each other, stopped for a coffee break and a chat, and moved onto the fourth hip replacement of the day.

Amazing!

Later that day, they watched me take ten steps in one direction with a walker. Turn around. Walk back.

The next day, they took me to a little room to see if I could climb and descend a few stairs, sit down and get up from a fake car, and otherwise move about. They also checked that I could pee. Then they send me home.

So far so good....This is what being healthy but needing a new hip at age 60 looks like.